“I Never Saw The Loneliness In My Marriage Coming. I Was So Blind.”


Let’s suppose that a divorcee, Wanda, previously married to have a life partner to spend time with. Her expectations were so high. Now sadder and wiser, she reflects on how naive she was. “I had a blind spot. I falsely assumed that he would leave the night life after we married. Now I know that he was already “married” to his chosen lifestyle. Marry night life, don’t expect home life. I endured so many lonely nights. I thought, is this what I got married for? I still sit alone at night watching TV. He seems bored at home.”

He usually prefers to be with his male buddies, golfing or drinking. He would say, “this is a guy thing. The boys don’t bring their wives along. You would be out of place.” Night life Ned never did like staying at home with me. I should have known that Ned would not change much. I married my pipe dream not reality.  I knew that we were not real soul mates before marriage. My feelings really let me down.”

Now Wanda knows that she should have taken premarital counseling with a born again pastor seriously. Neither of them had a good idea of what it took to make a happy, Christian home. Wedding isle promises tend to fade with the bride’s bouquet.

Willie Nelson and Wayland Jennings sang a song (“Momma, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys”) warning ladies about how cold cowboys can be. They disrespect, misuse women. The lyrics spell out how cowboys are all about self not caring about who they hurt. They are hooked on sin. Many could be the poster child for the “ME” generation. Flesh hounds are already married. But sadly, western cowboys are not the only men who love something more than home life.

What is sad is how many girls blow right by these warnings. A wise person will learn from others’ mistakes. Girls beware; what you see, is what you get. Leopards don’t change their spots.

 One does not have to learn the hard way like Wanda. She could write a book on “What This Church Girl Learned From Her Worldly Husband.” He was just a fun monkey, arm candy.  Happy hour or a happy home – take your pick. Lonely honeys and heathen hunks do not produce happy, holy homes.

Jesus of Nazareth can greatly help with a person’s friendship and emotional needs. Talk to Him out loud as you enter your front door. Tell Him about your need and issues. Again in the night, reach out and tell Him. He can help to fill the lonely times!

Wanda’s friend, Terri, has recently come to the Lord. They have compared notes on husbands and have similar situations. Terri is now not depending on any one human being to meet her fellowship needs. She is spending time with other Christian ladies. Joy in life is returning. Her husband is getting curious about the change he sees in her. He has agreed to go to church with Terri to check it out.

Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light.” (Matt 11.28-30 NAS).



About FredKerr

Bible teacher, M.Div, exercising, pizza, herbal tea, eating out with wife and friends, plants, classic Scripture choruses, hymns, variations of Canon D by Pachabel, clean jokes
This entry was posted in marriage and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+ 3 = 7