Missing relationships, unfulfilled desires


 Single people have unfilled desires. So do some childless couples, divorcees and widows. What is the answer for a budding relationship where male-female chemistry is shouting one thing and Bible truth another? – “He’s is unsaved. He is trouble but I love him .” (2 Cor 6.14-17).  Or when a single Christian’s prayer for a spouse and children remains unanswered? Or when a divorced parent is refused child custody? Death of a loved one? These can be tough sledding, day after day. The longing keeps coming. 

Many believers have unfulfilled relationship needs. Do not feel alone in this. Salvation is receiving God’s forgiveness for one’s sin and eternal life. It is not necessarily an instant cure-all  to heal every injustice and heartache in this fallen world. Life is not fair. God uses trials to test and strengthen His children. Suffering has purpose. It need not be wasted.

“We all live with unfulfilled desires . . . but God always extends grace to those who come to Him in humility and faith.” – Erwin Lutzer.

Resisting what God allows only makes our problems worse. Unfulfilled desires can prompt bad decisions, bitterness, backsliding, deserting God or painful, destructive relationships.

 Joseph was faithful in Egypt though he longed for his father. They were separated for years before being reunited. Joseph had lonely times. (Deployed soldiers, those away from home a lot miss their loved ones.

Paul had many hardships in his life. “Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, one I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Cor 11.24-27 NAS).

What is the solution when a homosexual is converted to Christ but sinful desires remain? He or she should remain celibate. Single heterosexuals too have sexual urges than cannot  be biblically fulfilled (Heb 13.4). We focus on the power of Christ for deliverance. (1 Cor 10.13; Phil 4.13,19; 2 Cor 12.9-10; Col 3.1-9). God does test His true children.

“Don’t ask God for an easy life but to be a strong person.” – Robertson McQuilkin.

Our trials only  make heaven’s home going all the sweeter. (Rom 12.1-2). “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” (Jm 1.2-3 NAS).

Temptations are tough to conquer – impossible?  Sin is stronger than we are. We are helpless to totally defeat all our sinning! Powerless. This is why just trying 20 percent harder to stiffle sinful desires does not work. We need totally new desires. Would it not be nice if  we could get new desires supernaturally?

Good News! We can. Jesus realized that we were sin slaves and made provision for it. It is called regeneration, dedemption, new heart, new nature. It is a free gift (Rom 3.24;6.23; Eph 2.8-9; Tit 3.5). It occurs one time in each true believer’s life. It is being born from above supernaturally. It is a true, actual, full blown, God reaching down, heavenly miracle!

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you . .  ” (Ezek 36.26a).  “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature;  the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Cor 5.17 NAS) (Heb 8.10).

 For the one outside God’s family, unredeemed, he/she is outside the grace and power of God by choice. Rejecting Jesus as Savior is running from His blessings, His comfort. Sad. Come home to Jesus. He IS salvation. 

Am I suggesting that once redeemed a believer is immune to temptations? Certainly not. But once inside God’s family, Gods’ house, we have insider resources which are vital to live aboue gross immorality. These include: Bible ‘protein,’ prayer power, godly support group of friends, local church guidance and teaching, prompt confession of sins, avoiding ungodly friends and influences.

  (You may want to go to the post category on “decision-making” for further insights on how God leads His children.)  (a message by Erwin Lutzer contributed to this post.)

About FredKerr

Bible teacher, M.Div, exercising, pizza, herbal tea, eating out with wife and friends, plants, classic Scripture choruses, hymns, variations of Canon D by Pachabel, clean jokes
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