1. God has a wonderful plan, a better plan, for your life. Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (Jn 10.10.b) (Jer 29.11).
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (Jn 3.16). Dying to pay for your sins is the ultimate expression of love.
2. Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence (ssofdv.wordpress.com) reports that: “Women in cohabiting relationships are more likely than wives to be abused. In one study, marital status was the strongest predictor of abuse-ahead of race, age, education or housing conditions.” 1
“Recent studies from Canada, Great Britain, and here in the United States all point to the same conclusion. Young women who live in a cohabiting relationship with a male put themselves and their children at significant risk of violence and abuse.” Ibid.
“Cohabitation is risky- especially to young women and children. If a man isn’t husband material or if he refuses to marry, it may not be a good idea to live with him either.” Ibid. .
“The Family Violence Research Program at the University of New Hampshire, the nation’s leading institution studying domestic violence, finds that, “cohabiters are much more violent than marrieds.” Specifically, the overall rate of violence for cohabiting couples is twice as high as for married couples and the overall rate for “severe” violence is nearly five times as high.” Ibid.
3. Fornication and adultery can cause one to miss out on some of God’s best blessings – removal of guilt, forgiveness, peace, joy. (Eph 1.7; Rom 6.23). God has blessing waiting for the sinner but He will not force them on those who resist Him.
“The Lord keeps all who love Him but all the wicked, He will destroy.”(Psa 145.20 NAS) . . . . “The Lord redeems the soul of His servants; and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.” (Psa 34.22 NAS).
4. If we truly love the partner how could we keep them in a wicked relationship that God says will take them to hell? That is not loving. That is selfishness (1 Cor 6.9-20; Heb 13.4). Who can have real peace in such a circumstance?
5. Living together is a cheap counterfeit, a shadow, a thief stealing the real thing. Holy marriage is one man, one woman, together for life.
6. It is open rebellion against God. One is shaking his little fist in the face of a holy God — “I’m in charge of this home God, not You. Go away!” One is hand wrestling with the Almighty . . who is in control? Submission to authority vs. rebellion . . . pride vs. humilty . . . flesh vs. spirit control.
With such an attitude of course life is a storm-tossed sea. One cannot live outside’s God’s will, away from God’s people and expect smooth sailing. Some want it both ways.
7. Co-habiting is zero faith in God to meet one’s needs. It is doing just what the world does. There is nothing godly about it.
8. Cohabiters are saying, “God, I know better than You. I am wiser. Cohabiting does not give Creator God credit for knowing how His own creatures best function. Where is the empirical evidence that cohabiting is more blessed than God’s plan? What creature is really wiser than his maker? (Isaiah 40).
9. Lust, physical traits, beauty, or both liking NASCAR or some sports team is not sufficient for a well rounded, fulfilling, long term relationship. Lust is me oriented. Love is the opposite. It puts the other first. Like roman candles, lust driven relationships tend to burn out, be one dimensional, boring. Wait for Jesus. Ask God to choose your true soul mate. (Gen 24!).
10. Companies, ball teams, want a strong commitment from participants. How can a weak, inferior, commitment produce a successful, stable, long term, relationship?
11. Cohabiting cheats any children out of the blessings of a clean name, legitimacy, and being raised in a godly, Christian home. They will always know that their parents did not love them enough to put them first by doing right – clean living.
To imagine that a couple can fornicate in the bed room and be respectable, clean role models for the children in the living room is a joke. Kids see through hypocrisy.
12. He is openly advertising for the Devil, God’s main enemy. It’s lust-driven, self destructive behavior.
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Gal 6.7). Fornication is self destructive. The fornicator is rejecting God’s love. He is making a powerful enemy, holy God.
13. How can a partner who is cheating God be trusted not to cheat on you too? He/she has already shown his true colors. Is this not asking for heartache? Lust blinds.
14. There are numerous statistics, studies, and facts about how cohabiting couples are at a higher risk for divorce. “. . . Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing, the study found.” – National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.
15. 55 % of different-sex cohabiters do marry within five years of moving in together. 40% break up within that same time period. About 10% remain in an unmarried relationship for five years or more. – Smock, Pamela. 2000. “Cohabitation in the United States.” Annual Review of Sociology.
With 40 % breaking up within five years plus other future drop out possibility, the fornication route is far from a probable path to long term bliss.
16. Eternity is too long to be wrong. “And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.” (Rev 20.15).
17. “Flee fornication . . . What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which in in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which are God’s.” (1 Cor. 6.18a-20). Jesus paid a high price for you. How do you show that you appreciate that?
God is light, purity. Holy marriage should reflect that light, that purity. Fornication, adultery, sex outside marrigae are arrogant attacks on a holy God wanting to give us His best. Marriage is God’s idea. This is where the blessings are. Avoiding a wise marriage decision costs one’s family many, many blessings from God. Will God bless and encourage, sin? Rebeling against God can put one out in the cold rain.
* * * * * * * * * * * * The Answer * * * * * * * * * * * *
Marriage should be a serious, life long decision. Marriage is not a magic answer. It will not remove moral or spiritual problems. Do not rush into it with a co-habitor. It might just make matters worse. Seek the counsel of a godly, born again, Christian pastor. Usually this is without charge.
Fornication is a sinful addiction that can be strong and persistent. It calls for real miracle, supernatural deliverance – Dr. Jesus! Temptations are tough to conquer. Sin is stronger than we are. We are helpless to totally defeat all our sinning! Powerless. This is why just trying 20 percent harder to stiffle sinful desires does not work. We need totally new desires. Would it not be nice if we could get new desires supernaturally?
Good News! We can. Jesus realized that we were sin slaves and made provision for it. It is called regeneration, dedemption, new heart, new nature. It is a free gift (Rom 3.24;6.23; Eph 2.8-9; Tit 3.5). It occurs one time in each true believer’s life. It is being born from above supernaturally. It is a true, actual, full blown, God reaching down, heavenly miracle!
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you . . ” (Ezek 36.26a). “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Cor 5.17 NAS) (Heb 8.10).
For the one outside God’s family, unredeemed, he/she is outside the grace and power of God by choice. Rejecting Jesus as Savior is running from His blessings, His comfort. Sad. Come home to Jesus. He IS salvation.
Am I suggesting that once redeemed a believer is immune to temptations? Certainly not. But once inside God’s family, Gods’ house, we have insider resources which are vital to live aboue gross immorality. These include: Bible ‘protein,’ prayer power, godly support group of friends, local church guidance and teaching, prompt confession of sins, avoiding ungodly friends and influences.
Could a lost sinner tell the following to Jesus and really mean it?:
“Jesus of Nazareth, I know that You are the Son of God. You died on the Cross to pay the penalty for all my sins and to give me victory of sin in the future. (Rom 6). I now repent of my sin. Please save and forgive me. Cleanse me. Right now I give my life to You. Amen.”